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If I fucked woman it wouldn’t have been you. 2017 album I just got to.

if I wrote a love letter, it wouldn’t have been you. it wasn’t.

it was what you gave your sister and it

never was. but I handed my life in quarters to you

you swallowed and turn them each through your system. I waited for your interest while you slopped a wet broken egg out of your mouth into my hand.

I

fucking hate

you.

hate locked in my head and heart for years that gave me hangnails, ingrowns

I hate that you might have gotten the better deal. everyone is a dictionary for something

I have a library i strive to read

recipes i’ve never cooked and chicken waiting for me to slap on a cutting board. I’m filling my system and failing to change my own diapers.

i’ve sustained three lives in a day before so i’ll do it again.

clotheslined

landed three steps behind

my latest footprints

convince myself I’m archived three thousand in

the hole

a library i’ve never read

should I smoke to fuck you

if I fucked a woman it wouldn’t have been you.

insomnia hasn’t blessed me with your productivity

i’ll never be you but i’ll tear all my cookies to reshape my tray to look like yours

wordsearch with all the letters half cut off

grubhub code in my texts

your mouth on my breasts

tape gun I sepcified

your playlist was shit and falafel doesn’t belong in a bun

i forget the joys I felt because I think now looks better

I abandon my opnion for what the people on the bus next to me percieve

a knot in my mid back

the first orgasm I had

grooves I haven’t carved and phone calls on which I’ve

starved.

bought $50 donuts for people who already had four boxes. new hands grabbed mine:

“what put you in a good mood this mornin’… get good dick last night?” I stammered and fell deaf

left the room stressed

this morning.